That Fine Line

That Fine Line

One of the most marvelous inventions for men has been the television. No longer do we have to go out in packs and hunt, because we can just turn on our televisions and the hunting is down for us. In a certain way the Internet has also done that for us. But among the neatest inventions on television is the yellow line that most networks use to mark for us the First Down place on the football playing field. Now we don’t have to guess and we know how far the ball must travel to be counted as a First Down. For you folks that don’t know or understand football, the first down is like the Community Chest card that lets you move four more spaces without having to pay huge amounts of money, unless of course you own the football team, then you’re paying by the minute, by the yard for some very highly priced players. Truth be told, you’re also making tons of money by the second, especially if you broadcast your games to a limited audience on a monopoly style NFL Network. But that’s another story. Then again you’ve probably spent a ton on money on a facelift which makes it hard to smile even while you’re making a ton of dough. But that’s another story. And you’re probably making plans to have yourself frozen once you die in the hopes that you can be an unfrozen Popsicle and back to a frozen living robot. But that’s another story.

At one game I attended in person I overheard two ladies ask, “Where’s that yellow line we see on tv?” Indeed. Where is that line in person? Why don’t we get a line that helps us know when we’re dangerously close to crossing it in terms of hurting someone’s feelings or getting ourselves in legal trouble. A few years ago there was an article in Newsweek about that line and how it gets shifted over slightly through the years to allow for things that weren’t allowed before. One of the examples they gave was the changing of attitudes towards Las Vegas. At one time sin city was seen as a place only for businessmen on trips; later for adults, then in a smart move the powers that be in Vegas changed the atmosphere and made it a place for families. While it may make for a great vacation that line has shifted and Vegas would love for one day your grown up kids to come back, enjoy the shows, the food, and of course, leave a ton of money in their machines or on their tables.

This is a message about who we are as Rotarians and the line that guides us. We can sum it up in terms of our Four Way Test. As we apply each of those principles to our lives, the line stays clear and we stay right where we need to be.

Is it the truth?
Is it fair to all concerned?
Will it build goodwill and better friendship?
Will it be beneficial to all concerned?

There’s our line!

Rotary Shares!

President Eddie

It Figures

Texas Cowboy A young cowboy from Texas goes off to college, but half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money. He calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Laramie that will teach our dog, Ol' Blue how to talk!" "That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?" "Just send him down here with $1,000" the young cowboy says. "I'll get him in the course." So, his father sends the dog and $1,000. About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. "So how's Ol' Blue doing, son," his father asks. "Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!" "Read!" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?" "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. "Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something, and talk!" "Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messing' around with that little redhead who lives in town?' " The father exclaimed, "I hope you shot that liar before he talks to your Mother!" "I sure did, Dad!" "That's my boy!" The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.

It Figures

Modern medicine is amazing. I know somewhere in some dental school, there is a young dental student that one day will discover a way to do a root canal with a vapor or a beam of some sort. Gone will be the pain of the old root canal, the endless drilling and filing on one’s nerve roots. Just like a few years ago some young doctor or doctor-to-be invented a way to give a flu vaccine with just a squeeze of a vapor into one’s nostrils. The kicker will be that just like the flu vapor, the new root canal will be for those under 40. I say that because this past Thursday, my lovely wife had a doctor’s appointment. We see the same doctor. She asked if I could accompany her to this appointment and of course, being the loving husband that I am, I went cheerfully. I like sitting in the waiting room and reading two-year old issues of National Geographic and seeing how dated the ads are on each page. The articles though are usually timeless and quite interesting and as will usually happens, I start an article and get to the exciting part and the door into the doctor’s office creaks open, the nurse cheerfully calls Nellie and Nellie says, “Come with me!” I think about taking the magazine with me, but then that would be rude to not carry on a conversation with Nellie or the doctor or nurse so I toss the magazine on the table. Once inside, the nurse says, “It’s great both of you are here because I know neither of you has had your flu shots yet!” What? asks the man morbidly afraid of needles? I think what Pat said just last Wednesday, “I get sick with the flu shot.” I’ve only had one two years ago, but I spent two days in bed immediately after the shot. I can hear the television and radio ad that says that one in a hundred will still get the flu and I believe that to be me, but arguing with the nurse or my wife will do me no good. I can’t kick and scream like I used to do when younger. I must take my shot like a man. Sad thing is that this nurse is good. She never hurts me with any of the injections I’ve received from her.

Friday came and I thought for sure I would be unable to get out of bed because I was sick. Nope. I was fine. Okay, it will be Saturday. No, wrong again. I gave up thinking it would make me sick. Now folks can cough and sneeze all they want and I feel invincible, but I still keep my distance.

So, go on dental student invent that vapor or beam. And make it for those younger than forty or fifty. You won’t hurt my feelings. It’ll be my gums that will hurt.

What can we invent to help spread the Rotary germ? And I mean this in a positive way of getting others to see what we see in our organization, that germ of service, sacrifice, and selfless devotion to others? Will it take a young doctor to be to come up with something along these lines? No, it will take us. Just to say a kind word about our club and what we stand for. And our age doesn’t matter.

Rotary shares,

President Eddie

WHAT DEFINES A ROTARIAN?

U R A Texan IF:
1. You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Palestine, Decatur, Wichita Falls, San Antonio, Burnet, Boerne, Mexia, Nacogdoches, Waco, Amarillo, and Waxahachie.
2. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
3. You've ever had to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day.
4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
5. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.
6. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
7. You measure distance in minutes.
8. Little Smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.
9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
11. You know cow-pies are not made of beef.
12. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.
13. You have known someone who has had a belt buckle bigger than your fist.
14. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.
15. Your 'place at the lake' has wheels under it.
16. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol; a Ford F-350, 4 x 4 is.
17. You know everything goes better with Ranch dressin'.
18. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.
19. You actually understand this and you are 'fixin' to' send it to your friends.
20. Finally, you are 100% Texan IF you have ever heard this conversation: 'You wanna coke?' 'Yeah.' 'What kind?' 'Dr Pepper!'

What would define us as Rotarians? U R A Rotarian if
1. The name Paul Harris reminds you of one of your uncles.
2. You feel under-dressed if you realize you're halfway through a meeting and you're not wearing a name badge.
3. You feel a sense of panic if it's time for the doorprize and you don't have a ticket.
4. You hear a bell ring and you automatically stand up. This is especially embarrassing at elevators!
5. Someone says to you, "Smile" and you start singing in response, "and the world smiles with you, sing a song!" This ruins the preacher's concentration during sermon time.
6. You get self-conscious if your cell phone rings in public and you pull out a dollar for the PTM (Pay The Man) Club!
7. You realize your meal includes ketchup for potato chips.
8. Someone mentions the governor is coming and you don't think the guy from Austin is making a trip to your club.
9. You get excited about winning a $25 gift certificate to anywhere.
10. You haven't received a hardcopy of any mail in such a long time that you get excited to get your monthly dues notice.

Okay, add your own! Glad you're here! See you next week!

Rotary Shares,

President Eddie

Wii World vs. Rotary World

Those who know me know the Lord spared me the heartaches of raising boys. Nellie and I were blessed with four girls and we wouldn’t trade them, mostdays, for anything or anyone. Yet, that day came when there was one particularguy showing up too dang much at our home and pretty much trying to help us catchup with unspent grocery money in the way he ate. Now, don’t get me wrong, thisyoung man is now my son-in-law and the father of my first grandbaby, so I thinkI’ve pretty much forgiven him for stealing my daughter off to California forabout a year and then to Galveston and then to make up living with us forseveral months not too long ago. Eric is his name and he’s a typical guy hisage. Sometimes I think he’s a bit younger than his driver’s license claims,but that’s another story.

Eric has always had a passion for video games, both those housed in computersand those housed in video consoles. I don’t know, to be quite honest with you,the difference between a PlayStation or an Xbox or a Wii. I was of an earliergeneration where we played tops, marbles, yo-yos, and bicycles. I think wepaid 25-cents for the tops that got us started and then we just won the others. The same for marbles. Yo-yos were mostly a distraction. And bicycles were alifeblood, a utility, a vehicle for transportation and fun. I do remember myyoungest brother having the first video game that came into the house after Iwas long gone and that was some sort of game called Pong. It was like avideogame on drowsy medicine. It went slowly from one side of the black andwhite television to other other and the object was to use a “paddle” to “hit”the “ball” or whatever back to your opponent. It was kind of like playing realping pong after having stayed up all night and having no coffee to drink. Iremember how long it took for the game to load since it was part of an Atari 64computer. And this running on a cassette desk hooked to the computer's console. My brother never could afford any programs.

I do know that at a recent church conference of all things, a famous theologian, whowas a presenter at the meeting in trying to relate the work of the churchcompared that work to a Wii. He spoke highly of the Sony Playstation and itsapparent superiority to the Wii's graphics and capabilities. He said thatSony's console offered far superior games to the Wii's, but that the Wii had aculture to it that he could not explain and thank God because I could not understand. He mentioned the control stick and the entire environment of this interesting game. He spoke of the interface and the ability to attract and retain attention to what is being presented. Don't worry the more I write, the more I also wonder, what does this have to do with Rotary?

Rotary has had a culture for over a hundred years. Are we adapting to the culture around us or are we hoping for the folks who visit us and think about joining us should adapt to us? What is our interface? Are we good at being an eat and greet organization only or do we interface in ways that show that we're all about the external culture, the one who needs our help as Rotarians? To borrow a church word, Rotary can be missional in its outreach to others. I don't think Paul Harris would mind our using that word as what we should represent, people that care about others. How could we phrase that? Oh yes, service about self.

Rotary Shares,
President Eddie

INDIVIDUAL SERVICE PROJECTS

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedlyanswer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are runover by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Individual Service Projects

Our district governor in his talk shared with us his story of the time he attended his fireside chat. It was hosted by a retired man from New York City, who had been a member of the Manhattan Club, then the world's largest Rotary Club. Their custom was to have birthday folks sit together at a table during their meeting on the occasion of their birthday. This gentleman sat next to J. C. Penney, and Norman Vincent Peale. It was Mr. Penney who "encouraged" this man to undertake an individual service project. I say "encourage" because Mr. Penney was not known as a men who would take no for an answer. Rather than allowing this young man to play golf on Saturday, he told him to meet him at a certain NY street corner and before he knew it, they had gone to the Boys Club to find boys who might not otherwise have been able to do so, attend the movies.

Service Above Self. We can find a service project on our own or with a fellow club member to undertake. It can become so easy to say, "Our club doesn't do anything!" And then poison the thinking of others, and before you know it, either you or the ones you've poisoned drop out. It is a far healthier thing to tell someone at your table, "Why don't we think of a service project we can do together?" This builds fellowship, you get to know someone a little better, and before you know it you've spread the name and ideals of Rotary to the community.

What can I do? You'd be surprised! I bet if you contact the elementary school you pass on the way to work, they'd love to have you come and read to the children. Your church might know the name of an elderly couple who can't mow their lawn anymore. You can go farther: Ask the librarian at one of our schools what books they'd like to have on their shelves but don't. Buy them and suprise the school! The school library might need their shelves dusted. The list goes on and on. Why don't you go on and do something? Service Above Self.

Rotary Shares!

President Eddie

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SLEEP AT NIGHT TEST!

THE PRESIDENT’S MESSAGE

Some things you don’t hear anymore:
Be sure and refill the ice trays, we are going to have company after while. Watch for the postman, I want to get this letter in the mail today.Quit slamming that screen door!Be sure to pull the windows down when you leave, it looks like it might shower -- and bring in the clothes on the line, too.Don't forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.Wash your feet before you go to bed, they are nasty from playing bare footed outside all day.Why can't you remember to roll up your pants legs? Getting them caught in the bicycle chain so many times is tearing them up.You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is nothing left to put a patch on.Don't you go outside with your good school clothes on!Hang up your Sunday School clothes, you know you need to pass them down to your brother in good condition.Go comb your hair. It looks like the rats have nested in it all night.Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open the new bottle. I need it for baking and Pa's coffee.Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won't have to pay a deposit on another one.Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won't get on it.Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you are going to make it fall if you don't quit!Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by, I need to get a few things from him. You boys stay close by, the car may not start and I will need you to help push it off. There is a dollar in my purse, go by the service station and get five gallons of gas when you start to town.
Happy Birthday Sleep At Night Test!


Adapted from The Rotarian:

It is the 75th Birthday of The Four-Way Test. Started by a Rotarian facing a crisis in his business, Herbert J. Taylor took a pen to paper and wrote down what he believed would help his company out of hard times.

IS IT THE TRUTH?

IS IT FAIR TO ALL CONCERNED?

WILL IT BUILD GOOD WILL AND BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?

WILL IT BE BENEFICIAL TO ALL CONCERNED?

Club Aluminum was the company Taylor headed during a time it was facing certain bankruptcy. It was smack in the middle of The Great Depression, and Taylor believed that if he could convince his employees to follow these, they might win sales from their competition. It took five years but Club Aluminum was back in the black. Taylor gave full credit to the Four-Way Test with saving his company. In 1943, Rotary International adopted the test as its own. In 1954, Taylor became RI President.

It has been called a model of business ethics and a great thing to follow to sleep soundly at night. Given what we’ve seen in the way of business scandals, you wonder had the Four Way Test hung on the walls of some of these CEOs if things might not have been different for say, Enron, Mattel, Worldcom, and others.

Walgreens is one company that has adopted the Four Way Test as its own. The company today tries to expose their 200,000 employees to it so that they can follow its precepts.

Whatever you do to put food on the table, are you following the Four Way Test? It is guiding you to be the best in your line of work? Is it allowing your employees to be the best they can?
How are you sleeping?

THE BRIGHT LIGHTS OF OPPORTUNITY

THE BRIGHT LIGHTS OF OPPORTUNITY

Nature called. It was 3:10 a.m. It was not for me, it was for Gweenie , our aging dachshund. Gweenie was a gift from a friend when we lived in San Antonio. She was found wandering the West Side (brave dog!). In the few years we’ve had her we know several things about her: She hates the sight of police officers in uniform. This includes our son-in-law, an Austin police officer. She hates cars to honk outside our home. She hates the sounds of big throated motorcyles. She hates to hear someone do the old “wolf whistle” (not that she’s ever heard it from me! I swear!) But when nature calls, she gets up and shakes as if she were fresh out of her bath. Her metal ID rattles enough to wake me. And I woke up, opened the sliding glass door leading outside and I walked out with her and with Lucy, our other Heinz 57 Variety mutt. The reason I joined them was not to help the greening of the grass, it was to see if that meteor shower was anything like it was supposed to be. It wasn’t or at least not from our vantage point. Later that morning I awoke again at about 5:25 a.m. and aroused Nellie and our daughter Carli and asked if they wanted to go outside and see the meteors. They did. We stood in our front yard with our lights off and saw nothing but the brilliance of lights all around our community. The brightness was dimming the view to the stars. Carli suggested we drive somewhere and Dad thought it would be good to go out by 5 Mile Dam. Of course, Post Rd was closed and up 35 we went to Harrington and then back down to the dam/county park area and we decided to head a bit further up that road. The view was a little better, but not by much. Final tally: Nellie saw one out of her window, as did I out of mine. Carli heard a coyote and asked that I roll up her window and for us to head home. We did.

The bright lights haven’t always been here and the reality is that they will get brighter in the months and years to come. It is a sign of progress and growth. People are moving here. Businesses are moving here. Jobs are coming our way. And the Rotary reality is that with these new people comes the opportunity to grow our club. As you hear of new people moving here and finding work here, celebrate with them and talk to them about our club. Invite them to come and be a part of a service organization that can help them help others while helping them become better people.

Rotary Shares, so why don’t you?

Rotary Shares,

President Eddie

Membership Commitment

Membership Commitment

Before the serious stuff: Ponder These:
1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
3. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
4. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
5. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
6. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
7. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
8. A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
9. Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
10. We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
11. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U C L A.
The old ad said “Membership has its privileges.” That may be with the credit card company selling it, but membership in service organizations, such as Rotary, has its responsibilities. Ours is to develop our membership. This is a two-pronged effort: We must motivate ourselves and our fellow club members to be men and women of service (in other words, we not a “chat and chew” club. And we must go out and seek new members. Rotary International says that every good Rotarian must do the 5Ps! (and that’s not a reference to nightly journeys to ones privy!). The 5Ps are:

Projects ALL members need to participate in the club projects every year. Provide a project list for our Club and make sure every member knows about the many Rotary International Projects.

Programs Have all members know that we expect them to be participating in providing speakers to assure excellent club programs every week. Programs give the members a chance to find out about the needs of others. We also need a good brochure for every club that describes what we say about being a Rotarian and our history so our guest speakers will know who they are talking to.

People We must reach out every year and bring at least one new potential member to our club. We need to remember that fundamentally it is the fellowship in Rotary that brings us together. The wanting to be with like-minded people and sharing in the experience in doing good for others. It is a compliment to ask someone to join!

Public Relations We need to be an advocate of the work of Rotary. Tell the Rotary Story to our friends, fellow workers, children, neighbors and others. They will want to join good projects!

Persistence We must take action that will move our goals forward in a constant way. We all must take on a quality of continuing steadily despite problems or obstacles.

We can do it! We have a great club and we can only make it better!

Rotary Shares!

Eddie Valverde