INDIVIDUAL SERVICE PROJECTS

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedlyanswer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are runover by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Individual Service Projects

Our district governor in his talk shared with us his story of the time he attended his fireside chat. It was hosted by a retired man from New York City, who had been a member of the Manhattan Club, then the world's largest Rotary Club. Their custom was to have birthday folks sit together at a table during their meeting on the occasion of their birthday. This gentleman sat next to J. C. Penney, and Norman Vincent Peale. It was Mr. Penney who "encouraged" this man to undertake an individual service project. I say "encourage" because Mr. Penney was not known as a men who would take no for an answer. Rather than allowing this young man to play golf on Saturday, he told him to meet him at a certain NY street corner and before he knew it, they had gone to the Boys Club to find boys who might not otherwise have been able to do so, attend the movies.

Service Above Self. We can find a service project on our own or with a fellow club member to undertake. It can become so easy to say, "Our club doesn't do anything!" And then poison the thinking of others, and before you know it, either you or the ones you've poisoned drop out. It is a far healthier thing to tell someone at your table, "Why don't we think of a service project we can do together?" This builds fellowship, you get to know someone a little better, and before you know it you've spread the name and ideals of Rotary to the community.

What can I do? You'd be surprised! I bet if you contact the elementary school you pass on the way to work, they'd love to have you come and read to the children. Your church might know the name of an elderly couple who can't mow their lawn anymore. You can go farther: Ask the librarian at one of our schools what books they'd like to have on their shelves but don't. Buy them and suprise the school! The school library might need their shelves dusted. The list goes on and on. Why don't you go on and do something? Service Above Self.

Rotary Shares!

President Eddie