Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedlyanswer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are runover by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
Individual Service Projects
Our district governor in his talk shared with us his story of the time he attended his fireside chat. It was hosted by a retired man from New York City, who had been a member of the Manhattan Club, then the world's largest Rotary Club. Their custom was to have birthday folks sit together at a table during their meeting on the occasion of their birthday. This gentleman sat next to J. C. Penney, and Norman Vincent Peale. It was Mr. Penney who "encouraged" this man to undertake an individual service project. I say "encourage" because Mr. Penney was not known as a men who would take no for an answer. Rather than allowing this young man to play golf on Saturday, he told him to meet him at a certain NY street corner and before he knew it, they had gone to the Boys Club to find boys who might not otherwise have been able to do so, attend the movies.
Service Above Self. We can find a service project on our own or with a fellow club member to undertake. It can become so easy to say, "Our club doesn't do anything!" And then poison the thinking of others, and before you know it, either you or the ones you've poisoned drop out. It is a far healthier thing to tell someone at your table, "Why don't we think of a service project we can do together?" This builds fellowship, you get to know someone a little better, and before you know it you've spread the name and ideals of Rotary to the community.
What can I do? You'd be surprised! I bet if you contact the elementary school you pass on the way to work, they'd love to have you come and read to the children. Your church might know the name of an elderly couple who can't mow their lawn anymore. You can go farther: Ask the librarian at one of our schools what books they'd like to have on their shelves but don't. Buy them and suprise the school! The school library might need their shelves dusted. The list goes on and on. Why don't you go on and do something? Service Above Self.
Rotary Shares!
President Eddie
About Me
- Eradio Valverde
- Born in Kingsville, Texas, moved to Houston, Texas at age 13, attended Lanier Junior High, and graduated from Madison High School. Graduated from Lon Morris College with an AA, Southwestern University, Georgetown, TX with a BA-Sociology; Master of Theology degree from Perkins School of Theology, Southern Methodist University, Dallas, TX. Married to Nellie Rosales in 1978, we have four wonderful daughters, three wonderful sons-in-law (and we're looking for one more! Please apply below! ) and three beautiful granddaughters, Sarai Evangelina, and Eliana Beth, Adabelle Grace, and four handsome grandsons, Liam Carlos Vasquez, Caleb Eradio Garcia, Eli Ryan Muñoz and Ari James Muñoz! My wife, and I live in Seguin, Texas where I am retired, sell insurance including Medicare Advantage plans, but write this devotional called ConCafe and I share videos on YouTube on the ConCafe Channel. Check them out! And share them with those who might need a blessing!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SLEEP AT NIGHT TEST!
THE PRESIDENT’S MESSAGE
Some things you don’t hear anymore:
Be sure and refill the ice trays, we are going to have company after while. Watch for the postman, I want to get this letter in the mail today.Quit slamming that screen door!Be sure to pull the windows down when you leave, it looks like it might shower -- and bring in the clothes on the line, too.Don't forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.Wash your feet before you go to bed, they are nasty from playing bare footed outside all day.Why can't you remember to roll up your pants legs? Getting them caught in the bicycle chain so many times is tearing them up.You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is nothing left to put a patch on.Don't you go outside with your good school clothes on!Hang up your Sunday School clothes, you know you need to pass them down to your brother in good condition.Go comb your hair. It looks like the rats have nested in it all night.Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open the new bottle. I need it for baking and Pa's coffee.Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won't have to pay a deposit on another one.Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won't get on it.Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you are going to make it fall if you don't quit!Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by, I need to get a few things from him. You boys stay close by, the car may not start and I will need you to help push it off. There is a dollar in my purse, go by the service station and get five gallons of gas when you start to town.
Happy Birthday Sleep At Night Test!
Adapted from The Rotarian:
It is the 75th Birthday of The Four-Way Test. Started by a Rotarian facing a crisis in his business, Herbert J. Taylor took a pen to paper and wrote down what he believed would help his company out of hard times.
IS IT THE TRUTH?
IS IT FAIR TO ALL CONCERNED?
WILL IT BUILD GOOD WILL AND BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
WILL IT BE BENEFICIAL TO ALL CONCERNED?
Club Aluminum was the company Taylor headed during a time it was facing certain bankruptcy. It was smack in the middle of The Great Depression, and Taylor believed that if he could convince his employees to follow these, they might win sales from their competition. It took five years but Club Aluminum was back in the black. Taylor gave full credit to the Four-Way Test with saving his company. In 1943, Rotary International adopted the test as its own. In 1954, Taylor became RI President.
It has been called a model of business ethics and a great thing to follow to sleep soundly at night. Given what we’ve seen in the way of business scandals, you wonder had the Four Way Test hung on the walls of some of these CEOs if things might not have been different for say, Enron, Mattel, Worldcom, and others.
Walgreens is one company that has adopted the Four Way Test as its own. The company today tries to expose their 200,000 employees to it so that they can follow its precepts.
Whatever you do to put food on the table, are you following the Four Way Test? It is guiding you to be the best in your line of work? Is it allowing your employees to be the best they can?
How are you sleeping?
Some things you don’t hear anymore:
Be sure and refill the ice trays, we are going to have company after while. Watch for the postman, I want to get this letter in the mail today.Quit slamming that screen door!Be sure to pull the windows down when you leave, it looks like it might shower -- and bring in the clothes on the line, too.Don't forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.Wash your feet before you go to bed, they are nasty from playing bare footed outside all day.Why can't you remember to roll up your pants legs? Getting them caught in the bicycle chain so many times is tearing them up.You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is nothing left to put a patch on.Don't you go outside with your good school clothes on!Hang up your Sunday School clothes, you know you need to pass them down to your brother in good condition.Go comb your hair. It looks like the rats have nested in it all night.Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open the new bottle. I need it for baking and Pa's coffee.Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won't have to pay a deposit on another one.Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won't get on it.Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you are going to make it fall if you don't quit!Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by, I need to get a few things from him. You boys stay close by, the car may not start and I will need you to help push it off. There is a dollar in my purse, go by the service station and get five gallons of gas when you start to town.
Happy Birthday Sleep At Night Test!
Adapted from The Rotarian:
It is the 75th Birthday of The Four-Way Test. Started by a Rotarian facing a crisis in his business, Herbert J. Taylor took a pen to paper and wrote down what he believed would help his company out of hard times.
IS IT THE TRUTH?
IS IT FAIR TO ALL CONCERNED?
WILL IT BUILD GOOD WILL AND BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
WILL IT BE BENEFICIAL TO ALL CONCERNED?
Club Aluminum was the company Taylor headed during a time it was facing certain bankruptcy. It was smack in the middle of The Great Depression, and Taylor believed that if he could convince his employees to follow these, they might win sales from their competition. It took five years but Club Aluminum was back in the black. Taylor gave full credit to the Four-Way Test with saving his company. In 1943, Rotary International adopted the test as its own. In 1954, Taylor became RI President.
It has been called a model of business ethics and a great thing to follow to sleep soundly at night. Given what we’ve seen in the way of business scandals, you wonder had the Four Way Test hung on the walls of some of these CEOs if things might not have been different for say, Enron, Mattel, Worldcom, and others.
Walgreens is one company that has adopted the Four Way Test as its own. The company today tries to expose their 200,000 employees to it so that they can follow its precepts.
Whatever you do to put food on the table, are you following the Four Way Test? It is guiding you to be the best in your line of work? Is it allowing your employees to be the best they can?
How are you sleeping?
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